A beach in Southern California
"Dude, I was walking through the
park the other day and like you wouldn't believe the
geezers I saw there. Okay, there's this one, he's gotta be like
pushing two hundred at least. He's got this walker and is shuffling
behind it and everything. Then there's the
other guy. And he's like old too. And he's got this cane and
he keeps callin' the other guy Major. An' he's like totally got
this buzz cut and everything. It's like, dude, Civil
war's over, time to relax. But, like, get this man, they're like
totally checkin' out all the chicks on the beach. Like if they
coulda moved fast enough, they'd a been givin' themselves whiplash,
like totally, dude."
"Wanna 'nother brew, dude?"
"Cool. So anyway, you know like
the Boardwalk Snatcher, dude? The tourist buggin',
purse guy that the cops couldn't catch? Well, like, he strikes
again, right. And he does
this like, down the block a ways. And like, these old dudes are
like, right in front a' me,
like shufflin' along, right. And the snatcher dude, he's like
hit Ma and Pa Kettle from
like, Iowa or Kansas or something. And they're like screamin'
and all, and he's like
running right at us, like he's gonna pass right by the two geezers
and me. And like dude,
it was totally cool. The one old dude with the cane, right, he
like takes it from the
bottom and trips the guy up with the hook end. You know, like
the 'toons, man. So like,
the snatcher guy is running like all out and BAM, out comes the
hook and he like bites it
hard. And like the other geriatric, he like comes walkerin' up
and like pins the guy with
his walker, dude. He just like set it on the guy's chest, man.
It was like so cool like, dude, totally, you know. And like the
cops come and bust 'im an all. But like the point
I'm makin', man, dude, man we gotta be like these old dude's
when we're geezers, man.
'Cause like the chicks, dude. They were like, 'Ohmygod, they're
so cute.' an all. Man,
they were like all over these dudes after that. That's what I'm
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